Just tried calling my phone on my phone because i thought i lost my phone.
She invited me to an Eagles game, I mean that is almost better then if she told me she could only function with large amounts of semen in her system at all times.
how do i tell her that i need alcohol to fuck her but at the same time i cant get a hard on with alcohol.
#1 benefit of having an equality sticker on my car: some girl flashed me while i was driving home
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He pointed at some girls and said "I'm gonna have sex with them girls over there", and disappeared.
there's nothing weirder than waking up to your mom eating breakfast on the couch that you fucked her coworker on last night.
Boats looked like robot pelicans and time was slow and now im on wipe out
I just gave a bum a ride back to his bench. Columbus is weird but I like it.
Bought asot tix too. After Saturday I'm gonna be reborn like Jesus and no drugs until edc
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Trust me. My dick only does selfies for you.
Apparently I thanked the paramedics over and over again for saving the "happy new year" beads that I was wearing
Grandma is high again and locked herself in the house
I asked him to have birthday sex with me via xbox live
Am i obligated to tell my sister her girlfriend was my one night stand three months ago?
I woke up remembering only that I got pulled over by a cop, then looked over and found that same cop, naked.
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