Remember that time i walked in on your friend taking a huge shit?
Remember that time you hooked up with him?
I just saw Sharon Stone's cootch in high def. I think I'll stay gay.
We were tigers and tigers don't wear pants
Revelation of the day. Bulimia is dumb. Anorexia is easier.
You suck.
i just threw up ON my final. epic way to end the semester.
Now I know how you felt every time you had to listen to me have sex with a girl... mildly disguested yet marginally proud.
I already brushed my teeth, and it's not even noon yet. Today's going to be a productive day.
Actually considered writing down one of the numbers on the bathroom stall. That's how much I miss vagina.
i jsut feel off the bus, but its ok the driver let me back on. a woman hid her baby from me..
It's only 8pm and Karl already got a stripper fired.
Apparently it is frowned upon to ask the bouncer to stop pointing his flashlight in your face and step back so you can puke....and then do it
Im at that shitty point in my day where I start planning night activities while finger dipping vyvance off of my desk, you got any plans?
I may have taken the entire adderall. I FEEL LIKE THE FUCKIN HULK. I can't stop cleaning and organizing and doing the clean things
all I remember is grinding on everyone in the room regardless of gender and quoting the lion king non-stop. We need to stop buying Jameson.
He fucked me harder than I've ever been fucked before and afterwards he started crying and profusely apologizing to god and baby Jesus for his sin.
Randomize
