Boobs. All I remember is boobs.
Nothing better then your mother meeting someone you randomly had sex with and him introducing himself as the guy who rocked her world once.
You should have seen her outfit yesterday. It was like pretty woman before Richard Gere gave her money to buy a new outfit.
Just saw some girl biking on campus with a babyseat on the front. Baby included. Do you know how many points that'd be worth?
He dumped me and I don't wanna fuck his best friend for revenge. Is this what maturity feels like?
I really wanna punch him. Right in his cell-phone-sized penis
coming out of a blackout being surrounded by Disney police was not as awesome as it sounds.
Escorted a stripper to her car last night,and all I got was a "Thanks" and "Go Steelers."
Somebody left a mini pitcher in the bathroom. Think its safe?
You really need to get over the whole "jail" thing. Its really not that bad.
He never gives up. He's like the fucking little engine that could of hook ups
Not much. Some creepy guy on Grindr thinks he knows who I am and where I live. So I sent him to that place with jockstraps and bacon. Hope he has fun.
The band last night was really good
That was definitely karaoke. Guess that answers my follow up question on how drunk you were.
I am going to tweet NASA until they put me into space
Those rocketship riding assholes need the common man
...its technically supposed to be for the bridal shower but I think I can find an ensemble that says "im hopped up on x. Stick your tongue down my throat." As well as " im supporting your marriage to my brother"
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