If I was Danny Tanner and my wife died and left me with three kids I would hire a nanny rather than bringing in the sexually promiscuos uncle with a fetish for leather and rebellion and my obviously mentally ill (possibly gay) best friend Joey, who has never had a girlfriend and consistently talks in cartoon voices... a nanny is just a better choice
New. Vanessa hudgens nude pics
That text made me feel like i signed up for some awesome celeb nude pic reminder
Also, on a completely related note, just came up with an awesome business plan. You in?
she makes me feel like im THAT guy in the taylor swift song
So I was just looking through the calendar on my phone seeing what day new years was on & on dec 31st at 9am it says "nude champagne toast". Guess we have to do it.
True life I used my fake as a photo id for my final. My professor told me good luck and laughed. Hope the bouncers are in the St. Patrick's day spirit.
while cleaning my room, i've found many wonderful things. one of these is the card you gave me for my eighteenth birthday. it's a christmas card that says "i want to stick it in your sponger"
What do I have to do to get you laid? I talked to that girl with the ugly dog for 45 minutes trying to get you in, and all you said was "Steven Spielberg is my favorite director."
Hey, you guys have all had chicken pox, right?
I woke up locked in the bar...this has redefined partying.
he kept telling me how much his girlfriend would love me while we were making. why does tequila always do this to me?
They shoved things up my nose I feel violated
I went by my nickname in rehab. It made it feel more like summer camp.
If your night didn't end with writing a witness report for the cops at a shwarma place, your night was probably less interesting than mine.
Never play truth or dare with a girl who carries a dildo in her purse. I'll never go to a Denny's again.
cmon you know I'm perfectly capable of something that ridiculous 100% sober
Randomize
