the sham wow guy got arrested for beating up a hooker.
He's married, but his wife isn't my neighbor so I don't feel bad about coveting him.
WHY DIDN'T ANYON E TELL ME SHE WAS SIXTEEN
She brought an overnight bag to my party. Might as well have shown up wearing only a thong and a bottle of whip cream in her hand.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Im drunk and they're making me play quiet game. Im scared. Baptists are here
Going to have to start putting down newspaper if puking the bed is going to be a habit
Tough to be a good wingman when you puke on yourself and everyone w/in a 5 ft radius at the FIRST bar we go to so don't tell me to step my game up
Sorry, I was unaware dragging you upstairs for sex was such an awful thing.
I'm having salsa con queso and a leftover half-drank/flat red bull for breakfast. Nothing you propose doing today would be a downgrade.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well after we were arrested you just kept chanting "Like a good neighbor state farm is there"
Do you think accidently including this month's Credit Card statement in my application will keep me from getting into grad school?
Depends ... when did you purchase your vibrator?
He was wearing running shoes tho. Thats like the cardinal rule. You don't fuck a guy who wears running shoes as regular shoes.
Do you think you can chase a shot with chicken soup?
I feel like my life just hangs in the balance of "Yeah I'm probably not doing this right"
Let's make a rule now, to not smoke weed out of our trumpets. After tonight.
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