I see an opportunity for you to use your nakedness to cure my boredom.
this kid in class is playing minesweeper and just slammed the desk because he lost. thank god were normal.
i would rather give Shaq a handjob than take this accounting final
New plan, instead of sleeping with her, I'm just going to use her to sleep with the entire sorority.
i recognized the place by the puke stain i left on the pool table when i hooked up with his roommate.
So my date night ended with us watching porn with his roommate.
She got a digital picture frame for her birthday. FINALLY - a place for me to sneak all those penis shots I've taken with my iPhone.
Strip beer pong in the front yard? Of course the cops showed up
I was pissing in the urinal at the concert and some drunk chick ran in and yelled 'but the lines to fucking long' then ran out with 10 state troopers chasing her... Yeah
I'm studying for my midterm by watching porn with Spanish subtitles. Surprisingly the words are still really distracting..
Got some good news and bad news about the hayride this weekend.
The good news is its still on, the bad news is we don't have any hay. The best news, if you drink enough you won't give a fuck that its just a trailer.
So immediately after we finished having sex she started singing, "The Circle of Life", put her clothes on and then just left. I think I'm in love.
I had so much stripper lotion and body glitter on my glasses I had a hard time driving home.
it went well until I said "me" instead of "my" and he kept sexting me in character as a pirate
She started crying because the Rugrats grew up
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