Don't you send me to vm
Can you imagine it being physically possible any other way unless the cows are unnaturally flexible
the fact that my dorm room overlooks a children's daycare is enough initiative for me to have safe sex.
Oh, and no balcony sex...trust me.
Wow that was a lesbian tornado.
I found a bag of weed while packing. Now packing is like creating tiny universes inside of boxes.
I am making up for a 7 year dry spell so I get a pass and I don't always care if there is a second date. It is like college but with more money and condoms.
I'm gonna eat more dunkaroos to cope with what's in my vagina.
It's all fun and games until your in the alumni campus center puking on the floor
Her cop pants made me imagine I was riding a unicorn and by unicorn I mean her face
Worst wingman u don't do ANYTHING but laugh at my incompitant shyness
Its like my group of friends and I are all dating and we're all just a bunch of Swingers, is that normal?
Want to sleep. Also want to see Alex on MDMA doing really stupid shit. Choices...
A guy just threw up in my lecture of 500 ppl and just got up and walked away
Don't ask but i need a priest, a calzone, a litre of gravy, and exactly 7 oreos
And a bag of nachos
Randomize
