Is this going to be a big send off or a somber occasion? Just need to know if I should start drinking on the train or not.
you told everyone your name was brenda and you had the whole party chanting b-dawgg by the end of the night. successful.
I have show me your genitals stuck in my head. Except in spanish. Muestrame tus genitals. Tus genitals.
Just farted cum and thought I shit myself. Crisis averted tho
You know you had a bad blackout when you forget you held the stanley cup.
Nothing like buying a handle and a 36 pack with a baby strapped on.
They had to stop us from skinny dipping in the reflection pool of the Mormon temple.
When are you going to accept the fact he is gay?
Come on... He's just practicing.
Ok. That's acceptable.
I was sleeping pretty good until your cat pooped loudly. I dreamed that a full grown man was pooping on my ear. It startled me.
I really don't know where my pants are, but that's not the problem. When are you going to unlock the door?
He called yelling about whhhhhhiskey and enchiladas I heard sirens in the background last time I talked to him b
You're a hot mess, you know that?
At least I'm a FUN hot mess. Like a train crash full of pizza, fireworks and glitter.
I feel like I may be the only person who can say they crutched their walk of shame. past the secret service.
The cat was building a spaceship out of the carpet, my legs were cans of tomato sauce, and there was something else in that pot you gave me.
welp,tonight ive reached new levels. by new levels I mean,i showed some guys my boobs for water. on your tab.. the most pointless thing ive ever done. either we should hang out way more,or never again.
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