She kept saying I was her favorite Jonas brother, and for some reason, I was ok with that.
my night ended in me puking all over jenna's bed, then me trying to wash the sheets in the toilet.
After the second day the hotel realized I wasn't responsible enough to have a comforter, so they took it for the rest of the trip.
So half of us were already throwing up outside when the Ukrainians ask us if we're ready to start partying yet. I love this country.
i wonder if cab drivers are trained in the art of delivering girls back to their dorms on Saturday mornings. because mine was so nice that he dropped me off at the back of my building so no one would see me.
Do you think you could handle being our babysitter if we roofied ourselves for fun??
After owing so much in back child support they should make vasectomy a mandatory
We're having play-off hate sex for a sport I don't even understand. Go USA!
You have mono. It's like being pregnant, your are excused from normal social niceties like responding to people.
I won't let penises inside me if you won't let tequila inside you, deal?
I pulled you and a keg around in a wagon for like five hours and apparently everyone else remembers it but us.
My aunt just dropped me off at the bar, handed me $50 and told me she'd pick me up later if I needed her to. I should've gotten my license suspended a long ass time ago lol
He talked me out going to the bar. No one ever talks me out going to the bar..this is fucking love.
I had sex while watching Lord of the Rings last night. I think I just reached a new level of nerd.
Woke up at 5am in an elevator... Pretty much tells you how my weekend went.
Randomize