I would do horrible things to your vagina.
Prove it.
a dead guy is trying to sell me oxy clean on my tv
Then all the boys were saying that they were amazed at how much i could smoke...i'm so proud of myself
Is there a nice way of saying 'touch my penis or i dont really wanna hangout"?
well hello there hangover. fancy meeting you here on this BRIGHT thursday morning.
the orgasm was like being thrown to the other end of reality, so getting a nosebleed from it wasnt too upsetting at that point
I ate a pepperoni off of someone's floor last night. We need to talk.
Someone just told me I could double date with them and their dog as my date. This is why the suicide rates are so high at the holidays.
It is a special kind of bonus when you find money you hid from yourself when you were drunk in the tampon box. What did we do last period?
We found her on a strangers doorstep chanting "I know someone will let me in" it took 2 of us to drag her to the car.
I feel like his penis would have a weird haircut because he does.
I don't miss having sex with him. We had our finale fuck last week. He's all yours now.
I would come over if there was not the impending fear of me shitting out my brains.
Am I over stepping my bounds if I ask to fuck in your new bathroom?
It has heated floors
he ended the message XOXO, who the fuck does he think he is GossipGirl.
Randomize
