I just heard these 2 kids from flint and Detroit arguing over whose economy is worse... It's really sad what passes for competition in Michigan these days
Was just practicing flip cup with my NyQuil cup...
Why is the word 'best' written on my chest?!!
Btw, whenever you feel discouraged about your life, think about me being frantically upset bc my mobile porn site limited me to only 5 videos a day
We should discuss this later when sobriety has returned. Right now he's just like a distant cousin.
the reason i can drink whatever i want and you have a limit is because whiskey will never make my pussy not work
I'm happy in my shell. My shell which consists of keeping guys in the friend zone and me masturbating...
And the prospective student I was showing around had to take care of me.
And I must've sleep walked to the fridge cause when I woke up, there I was, balls deep in a fudge pop.
I just sugar scrubbed my vagina. If I don't get laid tonight, me and the universe are gonna have some problems.
Holy shit I'm 26! That took an embarrassingly long time to figure it out, I need to keep buyin weed from this kid
Are you okay? You're not sitting at home on facebook. I'm worried about you.
where are my eyebrows?
Did you apologize to him for the trip to the strip club as a first date or is that something that just gets swept under the rug??
His birthday is on cinco de mayo and he doesn’t drink or like tacos. What a waste.
Randomize
