I spilled a beer on myself, so I went back to my place to change. The city marshall was at my door with a warrant. That beer cost me 760 bucks.
Every time we go downtown I ask myself why we live in Des Moines
You were so drunk last night you typed www.face.come/cheese.com as if you were logging into facebook.
you drew a penis with ranch dressing. tried to take a picture of it and dropped your phone in it. Then made moaning sounds while you licked it off.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So just to get a feel for things...how prone are you to male Amish strippers...
mary just dropped the yahtzee dice in her wine. and shes throwin em like shes on a craps table.
hahahaha slap the bag.
remind to leave next time the words "tequila" and "challenge" are shouted
I'm not entirely sure what happened last night, but I think I dislocated my kneecap during an epic Mario Kart battle...
Would you mind pretending to be lesbians just for like three emails?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's that whole "half Japanese, half asshole" thing. My brother and I have found that people really go for that
I'm 99% sure I just puked glitter. Wine drunk Mondays shouldn't be a thing.
It's nice out. . But after I almost put a bag of chips in the microwave to make nachos. ..I figured it best to not venture too far from the couch
i just smoked marajunia from a shotgun barrell. what have you done today?
You blacked out at 9:30 and insisted on sleeping in the hallway after you chugged an entire pitcher of beer. I guess the Jell-O shots were stronger than we thought...
i just realized I haven't been laid all summer. So sad. What a waste of a perfectly good vagina.
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