Duck Duck Cougar?
I can't believe all the places I got into shoeless last night. Apparently no one will say no to a girl covered in paint with a ripped shirt
i think this is the gayest thing you've ever shown me. and i'm pretty sure you've sent me pictures of a dude sticking his dick in a horse's nose.
There comes a time where you just have to sit back and watch the drunken idiots pee on each other
Out of all the people in the house to show their tits at mcdonalds to try and get free food, they picked those two?
she came back from her house with A paper cut , a 2liter of sprite with Bacardi , and half a mustache . we're inviting her more ofte
I've been on this train for an hour and this women has been on the phone and all she's said is "guuurrrrrlllll, gurl, gurl." I may commit suicide.
Just got offered a dog by two Meth head's one of which wasn't wearing shoes and continually saying "fuck"
Why aren't you two playing Dora the explorer with each other's genitals yet?
Woke up to the frozen soundtrack blasting in the living room best one night stand ever
You having your own car has severely reduced the amount of blowjobs I get.
I woke up while eating peanut butter from a jar. I don't think I should be social today.
AHHHHHHHHH. I LEFT A GLASS NEXT TO ME WHEN I FELL ASLEEP I'M SO SURE IT WAS WATER BUT NOW IT'S VODKA JESUS MADE A STOP
I woke up naked wrapped in a wolf blanket on the bathroom floor
He wanted me to do the rubix cube. He thought it was hot.
Randomize
