At what point in time did you decide the pot head with Taco Bell was more important than all your friends.
At about the same time you guys weren't burritos.
Just finished my law exam. Questions 4-18 seemed to pertain specifically to things we've done this semester.
Note to self: don't jizz on a surface cleaned with Tilex. It WILL turn purple.
Would it be a dick move to report the suite next-door for a noise violation? They're singing Bad Romance off-key and I'm not sure if I can allow that.
I mean, we started to hook up but my asthma attack kind of killed the mood
i just remembered i chipped my tooth last night when i pulled up your pants zipper with my teeth
I swear that when we jog in the morning I can hear it slap between his thighs
It's like my uterus needs a hug... and anti depressants
My mom just told me not to dance on any tables on Halloween...I'm choosing to take that statement as a joke
hooked up with someone last night while wearing walrus pajama pants. clearly I'm accomplishing big things in life
The guy whose porn password I use finally renewed his membership. Lazy fucker had been slacking all summer.
The magnum condom fits. I feel like a manly version of cinderella
I love that they love me even though I might not exsist, its kinda like Im God.
You where banging on the wall asking us where we hid the door...you then crawled under the deck thinking you'd be safe. I told you to eat the nachos before the party...I told you.....
I may have made out with your roommate and your cousin tonight. In my defense I thought both of them were your cousin.
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