That was a long time ago. She needed the money.
I don't remember him, but he's saved in my phone as "uh oh zbt"
Had to have a serious talk with my liver and remind it that it is my birthday weekend and there are three more nights like last night ahead of us
Just charged fat mistake $3 for a beer.
Apparently you get kicked out of gay bars if they catch you putting the entire free condom bowl in your purse.
I didn't plan on sleeping with him until he told me his mom is deaf.. Then I felt bad.
Anne I just took two ambiens. I think my body is melting into my blow up bed. Like a stick of butter just slowly melting. And I'm alright. Don't be afraid. I'll be alright.
Guess who just screamed "Everything happens for a reason!!" in the abortion clinic. This girl.
MANGO MOTHERFUCKING GODDAMN MARGARITA DELICIOUSNESS
you passed out while setting up your phones timer to time how long it would take before you to passed out.
Well its official, I'm into significantly freakier sex than even I thought possible.
I made out with a guy because he ate a grape lollipop and he tasted delicious... not my proudest moment.
But lunch with my dad really just means an hour and a half of him telling me how he's disappointed and how he knows I'm on drugs
Look I'm really high right now, and if I were to leave this house, it would be for the sole purpose of getting an ice cream sandwich. So can you please just do it.
I spent two entire hours explaining to a guy why I wouldn't make out with him. How was your night?
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