Nicole vs. Life
i had a dream the other night i was titty fucking you while you were asleep, then you woke up and didn't care.
I thought spray tan was a myth
?
You know, something that only happens in Jersey
So im walking through ohare and this guy walks by with a cart full of big bottles of liquor. I want to know what flight hes on.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's not my fault I help girls realize they're lesbians.
Bren left me with a lovely parting gift. Newfouund alcoholism. I'm on the kitchen floor, hugging a bottle of vodka. It's my only friend now.
On the train at 650am after a night of clubbing and running away from a new zealander who was buying us beers but also licking windows
I could be busy drinking my face off and getting red white and bruised per usual
Where'd you go last night?
Don't EVER let me photobomb a group of lesbians again. They made me their "straight mascot" and I ended up singing Donna summer tunes for beers at their apartment complex.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I tipped him really well because I feel he knew we were high, but did it in a non judgemental way.
So our bartender was in the bathroom the same time I was so I ordered a beer mid stream.....is that weird?
I have a vagina. So i automatically win.
sending my old camp counselor nudes. childhood memory win or new low?
Been smoking since 4. The inevitable finally happened: I bought a cheesecake.
Don't drink and try to take a shower. I thought I was drowning
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