Heed the warning of the ghost of Oktoberfest present: German beer is soooooooo much better than our watered down children's piss. also lost all my clothes and am wearing lederhosen the rest of the trip.
Just put your hair in a bun. We're going out to drink, not to impress people.
This weekend has taught me that sometimes, being buried under a mattress is the safest place in the room.
It's ok, I like adventure. Just ask my vagina.
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I'm having a really difficult time dealing with the fact that my dog now shares a name with Snooki's crotch-spawn.
im in the library and there's this guy on a computer just staring at a google image of beer. finals week is rough.
A bee came out of the shoe box and stung her. Even the insect community doesn't want her in those hideous things.
Fuck you, if it wasn't for us going to the city, she would be using me as a human sex toy all day.
Well I accidentally flashed a 76 year old woman, i'm in a house full of republicans and Im almost drunk enough to give the gay rights speech so i'd say this wedding reception is going great
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The amount of times I have been emergency drunk in the past 72 hours is staggering
It kind if looked like a strap-on dressed up for Halloween.
I slept naked last night on stolen pillows. I felt like a golden goddess.
Just threw up in a baggy on the airplane. The guys next to me clapped and bought me a jack and coke.
Livin the dream
No clue what you did last night, sorry. You did hand me a pizza and a mason jar with $1200 in small bills in it when I let you in though.
So my plane's delayed and some guy is talking to "sparkles" he just told her to never again sell drinks from her cleavage. This is why I don't go home
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