Whod you bang
My new storm is the chrons
The only reason I needed a new one is bc I threw up on my other one(248): And since Verizon doesn't have a throw up test, I was eligible for a new one
you threw up in someones recycling bin and left a note apologizing. how drunk do you think you were?!
ugh the "ive seen you naked on the internet" look is really getting tiring
I'm going to fuck my way out of the friend zone if its the last thing I do
How do I politely say my vagina is not a chew toy and if you bite me again I will slap you?
You could say take it easy, whoa there, be gentle, anything that doesn't fully convey the horror.
So I bring Danny back to the apartment for the first time and my roommate is curled up in the beanbag in the middle of the floor, wearing nothing but her uggs, high out of her mind and watching Harry potter... She offered us kettle corn.
He asked if he could come over tomorrow....
I'd like to believe that in some alternate universe we are living this wonderful lesbian life together..
Explain the King Dong next to my face.
I figure even if it starts out as just sex I can bang him into loving me
Let us rub each other in fish scales and become mermaids
man fuck you i am a delight. you're the one who fucking set his tree on fire while high
2016 was supposed to be my year of being a ho, but I guess 2017 might be too.
So you thought it was a good idea to make plans for the same time same place with the guy you were sort of dating AND his best friend you slept with?
You stumbled into the hotel room escorted by security and then went into the bathroom sat by the toilet, threw up for hours while slamming your head on the wall and whimpering "why" over and over.. I went to bed
Randomize
