if you don't open the door right now liz is going to get pregnant
Opportunity cost of getting to econ after a night on the town > marginal benefit of attending class
She is just riding on my slutty coat tails.
I held his ankles while he hung off the top bunk attempting to get my pillow that fell off.
Whatever, the fact of the matter is that I saved you from poorly planned outdoor sex by doing a rain dance and you should totally thank me.
This vodka tastes like I'm not going to class tomorrow.
Im going to bed. I'm seeing 7 of everything and my world smells like gravy
He was just lying on my lap in the backseat screaming how if the cops came he was a blanket.
I may, or may not have licked his face in an Applebee's.
In case you're wondering what frozen hashbrowns taste like at 4 in the afternoon, shame. They taste like shame.
I think the reason she hasn't text me back is because I spanked her ass with Hulk Hands
Note to self: Calvin Klein's are not safe to shit in.
We just broke up and deleting his dick pics is the hardest thing I've ever had to do.
I've had way too many dicks in my mouth the past two weeks. Ready to go back to school and be a doctor now
it was weird i started the party in just my underwear and woke up in my clothes
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