Her name starts with A and ends with whore.
in the car goin home for fam dinner and he is silent... i think he realized how big of a whore his little sister is
Life lesson: Don't give a drunk girl a dutch oven after having taco bell. She puked all over my pillow. Funny as hell though.
He must be back home now. He moved his box of beer from her porch to ours.
it was one of those movies netflix should have sent weed with
I managed to fit my wallet, my keys, my phone, Tammy's necklace, and $38.50 all in my bra. and $1.50 is in quarters. go me.
She's drinking vodka out of a windex bottle. She is spraying it in her mouth and at strangers.
Found half of a five day old piece of pizza behind my dresser. Apparently it was drunkenly set there and got knocked down. It was such a happy reminder of last weekend.
I found a cheeseburger next to my tub once. It's there to shame you, but it always just makes me feel more awesome.
June 16th my calendar just says boobietassels....I can only assume that has to do with you
i feel like there is just so much pressure to sex him up, its like the weight of the world is on my vagina.
If I come home tho and find u passed out naked in my bed with the bottle of crown empty, we're gonna have issues.
I'm sorry, I can't help the fact that I like to sleep naked, and I like booze, together it looks bad, yes.
It's like "hey I give your roommate blowjobs twice a week, want to connect on LinkedIn?"
BOOOOOOOOOOOO *takes away your hoe card*
I think someone shaved off all their pubes in the handicap stall or a werewolf stopped by the office to take a crAzy dump!
Can’t. Tonight’s a netflix and dick night
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