there should be a national holiday dedicated to how high i am
he had a blacklight sublime poster, of course i had to do him.
Do you remember trying to eat gravel when we were walking back to the dorm?
At what point should i just give my brother a break and stop sleeping with his friends?
No that means he must've used the nipple clamps
Woke up in an unfamiliar pair of underwear, running shoes but no socks, and a cowboy hat. Thank you crown royal
I woke up to the sound of gentle rain, only to realize I was laying under a urine trough in the men's restroom. Fuck you, bourbon. Fuck you.
at first i was on the bathroom floor cuz i was hungover. now im just here because it is cool
Also, sex on a first date is no, right? Really, I just don't want to clean my apartment, but I'm trying to hide behind "morals" in an effort to appear less lazy.
I think I hit my head on every surface in that apartment last night
Walking in on a gay threesome, with a girl in the corner watching and taking vid is a reason to not only knock, but to never go to Savannah.
I'm currently giving my drug dealer relationship advice. He's a nice guy and all but I'm really just hoping I get some free weed
Soooooo I may or may not have accidentally been a catalyst in a destroyed marriage.
Like I could never be a lawyer because I would just look like a porn star impersonation of a lawyer.
He's stripped out of his boxers and is dancing and slapping his dick with string cheese...I don't know whether to call for help or take a video.
Randomize
