At Bonnaroo. Just saw a couple emerge from a port-a-potty. Romantic?
Just set all my clocks a minute apart. Now my 4:20 is longer by sixfold
It's not called being bisexual its called making out with anyone that has a mouth
I love watching the kids I sold drugs to score touchdowns
You fell asleep leaning on my shoulder at the bar
They just called to see if he wanted to come in at 2am for overtime. He's trashed. He literally carried on a 10 minute convo with his boss about woodchucks. As in the animal
Yea you just drank all the Hookah water, then started talking gibberish about the Kool Aid you just drank.
I'm walking home wearing Kermit the frog footie pajamas, carrying a monogrammed shot glass set with my name on it. It's fucking Christmas!
get ready to load up the weird cannon and blow a load of buck-wildness all over the place people
Everyone was hooking up and I was just by myself rolling around in the grass at one point ... Which I am allergic to.
From one hot mess to another... Get it together.
He was basically a horny puppy - following me around all night and kept sticking his hand down my pants.
Woke up at my x's house. He said I talked about how much I love panda's for fourty five minutes. Then made him watch The Little Mermaid with me. Made the walk of shame infront of his mom. Things can only really go up from here.
Wait till you get home.
Told him I just wanted to be friends. He responded, "The best marriages are born from great friendships." Please come get me.
I’m literally naked drinking a beer and I gotta leave in 6 minutes for work lol
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