I want to dip my vagina in sugar. Not only will it be sweet, but it will have a nice sparkle.
He has jerked off in so many socks I am surprised he doesn't have athletes dick
I don't know if it was the room or her, but as soon as the pants came off, it smelt like a locker room and old man farts.
the weed was in a baggy that had little penguins on it. i am so excited you have no idea
I thought he was joking about the hundred beer challenge until two guys showed up with a camera and boom mic. This cabin party is going to be fucked
When you hit the 45 minute mark of any argument about The Flintstones, you have to realize: it's no longer you arguing, it's the cocaine arguing.
I'll feed you vitamin c from my mouth this weekend. Like a baby bird.
Promise??
I want to name my colorful bowl Batman. Why? I still have yet to figure it out. But I'm calling it Batman.
Just made out with the guy who gave me my tour. Full circle college win.
Can't feel body but making pizza rolls
I used to sleep with a guy on the USA rugby team... He stole my credit card and my Hitman DVD. I'm more upset about the Hitman DVD..
So you think Jesus would be proud of me for walking of shame into my apartment 10 minutes before I told my parents I'd be over for Easter?
You were lost on foot. Texted us and told us that N*Sync couldn't save you, and then you "met Jesus" in your car.
You've been inside me, dude. There's no such thing as TMI.
Is there any reason why a taxidermic donkey head is in the shower?
Randomize
