Dating is not our generation's strong point. We're an era that's good at getting laid.
I'm so over stopping myself from talking about my sexual experiences in front of children.
that sweater is a total boner killer. you might as well be wearing a wedding dress.
He says he's "masters drunk." And if that's anything like "kentucky derby drunk" I know enough to not go over there.
He showed up in booty shorts and no shirt and said dont laugh dont ask questions and give me a fucking final and no one in class said anything we just sat there speehless
i woke up to you and that girl going out onto the balcony naked
oh sorry man.. we went outside because we DIDN'T want to wake you
He got cut off by the bartender. So he kept buying people drinks of they would i get him a drink. Before you know it him and 8 people were outside the bat trying to get people. To by them drinks
We broke into the kitchen, stole cooking aprons, and wore them on the dance floor.
I've done dumber things than this for flimsier reasons. Come with. If I pull it off I need a witness, and if I fail I need an escape plan.
I got titty fucked last night and you're breastfeeding your newborn. Clearly we have gone two totally different paths since 2011.
I cannot handle Xanax... I just turned my computer on and I googled how to work YouTube
I haven't listened to news as I've been having lesbian sex all night. Anything new?
I'm gonna go take a shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
I tried to fuck you in my bathroom while my parents were in the next room. I am a clusterfuck of fun.
Our livers get a hall pass for 2020, right?
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