yo my bday is less then one week away. hope youve found another annoying candian i can lick dairy products off of. also sorry about your loss
OH MY GOD! I just remembered how we ended our bar time last night: picking up and drinking random drinks that ppl had left. wtf is wrong with us?! that's so ghetto!
No. You're kidding.
I am not. I wish I were. I speak the truth.
I am pretty sure he just licked my hand while trying to sing goo goo dolls iris to me. Get me out of this state.
Princeton has an emergency contraception worldwide website. It is in moments like these that I love my university
Just mixed vicodin and mucinex. This cold just got fun.
He told me that I smelled like a Glade Plug-in, then sang the Menard's jingle in it's entirety in between kissing me.
you picked up the vacuum cleaner at one point and said you we gonna beat the shit out of me with it. that was kinda funny
We're bowling witha frozen turkey in the hallway...ur missing out
Im the macgyver of cooling down beers. The toilet tank was blocked so I couldn't use it.....
she just announce I'm david copper field and tried to shove a napkin down my throat
I bet his dick wears a tuxedo.
There was a point where you were singing "Friends in Low Places" to yourself while Juicy J was playing so I got worried.
STAY IN YOUR APARTMENT. DONT GO TO SAFEWAY TO BUY CONDOMS. DONT GO TO THE VAN.
Not sure if your roommate speaks German while sleeping, or if she woke up, figured out we were fucking, and used German to swear at us.
I need an honest answer, no judgements. Would it make me a bad person if I fucked the other twin?
Randomize
