He shouted my World of Warcraft name while we were having sex, and he was sober.
it was 6 in the morning, and you cried until i put mulan in. then you proceeded to say every word, not to mention sing along... stop drinking.
well when mom kept referring to my "black hole of a vagina" and how i devoured all the nuts at the party like i was a pro, i figured my stay was up.
I'm pretty sure last night was the first time I've seen someone drink beer-soaked paper towels. Ever.
Yeah but then he looked at me bleeding on the floor, said oh i guess you need to go to the hospital now, and left
He just got dropped off drinking a flask, sitting on the handlebars of a chinese delivery man's bike
Tonight's gonna be epic. Did he bring my noodles?
She sprained her ankle last night trying to flash me.
You rode your bike four miles to my house. Yelled "I'm so high!" Then crashed into his car. It's a problem.
Yeah that's a good idea.. I like to be responsible when I trip my nuts off
My vagina has a mind if its own. Can you imagine if I didnt have you to run her ideas through.
strip teases shouldnt end with an expensive car covered in salsa and mayonnaise yet here we are
I forgot her safe word. It was a rough night.
I went to watch porn and there's already 3 Santa videos. Happy November 1st.
Drunk within and hour of coming home from work, merry christmas bitch
I know you can't find me. Somehow I ended up on the roof smoking a cig with the strippers that are on break. Way too drunk to deal with this right now.
Randomize
