look no pants
Ok let's jusst not talk today bc then we'll just do dangerous things but I'll say hello
Never fear I pulled out... she had "lies about taking birth control" written all over her
Roman Polanski is more welcome at my daughter's birthday party than you are at that bar
She said she didn't want to have sex because she was so torn up about "this whole NBC thing."
I seriously just washed my dick in a public restroom. That's how dirty last night got
Oh, I made pasta salad in the throw up bowl. I hope you don't need that for the next few days.
Did I happen to mention where i left my keys when I drunk dialed you last night
Duuuude. Everything is so brilliant right now. This frosting is freaking orgasmic.
It's vanilla, man. Accept no substitutes. There are so many t's in that word.
So I woke up in a strange bed with a note taped to my arm giving me directions back to my brothers apartment.
I need more social interactions that don't involve sex
Well after we were arrested you just kept chanting "Like a good neighbor state farm is there"
We just had sex on an abandoned logging road while wearing snow shoes. God bless Montana boys.
I explained to him that me turning straight is a once a year thing. And this boy just happens to be the chosen one.
So she was amazing, that's what. Idk if it was the blow or the blowjob, but both my heads are still tingling.
Randomize
