I need to talk to you about an important matter involving lesbians.
He played a tape of his mad rapping skills after the final...his rapper name was Mad Stylz and he rapped about all the pussy he got in the 90's. I love Sociology.
it would be nice to just get drunk, not hook up with anyone, and not die this weekend
I don't even want to think about the kind of person who would shit in the street before 10pm on a Sunday.
And by defning the relationship I mean telling him I'm gonna fuck other people but its cool If he does the same.
I GOT MY PERIOD THIS IS A GLORIOUS DAY I AM TOTALLY GOING TO MAKE PIES TO CELEBRATE THAT THERE ARE NO REPUBLICANS IN MY UTERUS!
I will be there. invited or not. I go where the pancakes go.
We're exchanging our favorite porn sites at 9 am. I think this brings our relationship to a whole new level
bullshit you weren't drunk, you pointed at me and said my cigarette was empty
How long do I have to listen to him talk about the chickens before telling him I just really want to fuck? Note: it's already been twelve minutes.
i woke up on the couch at 5:24am, hangover, craving for some ribs, but i only had a bag of cheetos and a half empty beer. man what a breakfast.
I WILL KICK YOU IN THE FUCKING THROAT IF YOU EAT MY FUCKING ICE CREAM.
Did you really kidnap my goldfish last night?
I just realized this morning that my fridge is stocked with coronas, hot dogs, and cheese dip. And I just got waxed. High-five, your best friend is on track to be all kinds of slutty fun this wkd.
The sex was so good we high-fived after.
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