I've walk of shamed through this apartment complex so many times, I think people think I live here.
How the fuck did I get small bruises all over my body?
Well you were laying on the couch naked after the girls left, staring into space, and I went over to the pool table and threw every ball as hard as I could at you from point blank range . You didn't flinch, blink, or scream for any of them. next time maybe you won't fuck my girl while I'm taking a shit
You had me at "you have a nicer rack then her"
You said your dick dragged you up the stairs
I head back to the dorms in less than a week I'm not ready to see my roomate naked that much again.
Standing in front of the open refrigerator with a 3/4 empty bottle of wine eating Bac-o's from the jar, topless. Somebody really should've taught me better coping skills.
Is it bad that I see a party full of girls I know he has fucked as a challenge for me to be the one who ends up in his bed?
I was looking at your puke while I was peeing in it the next morning and that ceasar salad did not treat you well
next time im at a party and go to fist bump the dude who took my virginity two years ago PLEASE STOP ME
I don't know why I do this to myself his dick is a constant source of disappointment.
Woke up this morning with a darth vader helmet and a bath robe on with my toenails shitly painted
This bar smells like your ball sack. In a weird way I miss you.
Mmm vodka always tastes better when i know i have work at 8am
It's routine now. He comes home from work and i ride him like a cowgirl with only a few sips of wine. I love being his neighbor.
It took like and hour to get him in me and then he came in like 2min. Size aint everything
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