i saw a stretcher and literally ran around for 10 minutes telling people it wasnt for me
Have $25 to my name but it's $2 pitchers. I have no choice but to go.
Thru out the entire phone conversation I went from thinking: he's making a gay come-on, to he's trying to sell me drugs, before realizing he was offering me a job with an internet company. Things are gonna be awkward in class this week.
I want a grilled cheese and an IV
Im sitting on the exxon bathroom floor, idk if its healthy but it sure is cold
Party Liz is going to have to have her wings clipped until someone gets me some baby reins to wear
Fun Fact: I do not remember what its like to be sober between drinking off and on for two weeks at my "vacation" and being on painkillers for my mouth now
Thats just a parental red flag. They have been brainwashed. Lets baptize them into the church of PBR
i sent my dealer a picture of the money i would pay him. i also told him i would pay him in cheez-its if he would prefer that.
So I have to masturbate in a hospital. I wonder what kind of porn they have.
It kind if looked like a strap-on dressed up for Halloween.
Well I may have gotten laid but I over drafted buying pizza so I think that negates everything
WHERE THE FUCK IS MY ARM DO YOU HAVE ANY IDEA HOW DIFFICULT IS IS TO TYPE WITH ONE HAND
He broke both of his legs jumping out of a window to escape a coyote.
Will you PLEASE get your mom to stop telling me I'd make a great husband? She knows I'm gay, right?!
I know, but she really likes you. Have you met my brother yet?
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