YOu come back ASAP and we will do whatever you want baby
she looks like someone took a bunch of spare parts and glued them all on one face. it's quite horrifying.
why dont you just whore around college until someone loves you...thats how it works for girls isnt it?
She fell asleep on the sidewalk and people starting using her as a hurdle
Tough to be a good wingman when you puke on yourself and everyone w/in a 5 ft radius at the FIRST bar we go to so don't tell me to step my game up
By the way. I expect to test the theory of you running a mile drunk for memorial day.
Only thing worse than going to work with a hangover is going to work with a hangover then realizing that u don't have to work that day
How was my weekend? I just blew my nose and a gram of coke fell out. My weekend was fantastic.
because i know somewhere at some party, behind someones closed bed room door youre being feed a key full of mollie.
It was good. Ended up having a 3 hr make out session with her
What is this high school
There was a lot of catching up to do bro
I just farted so loud someone came to check on me. Thought something fell in my office.
I accused him of not drinking enough alcohol and eating tacos after midnight. I was sober and he's not a gremlin. I would say bad.
WHY ARE THE COPS ALWAYS AT DENNYS WHEN IMDRUNK!?
i don't like interrupting booty calls. thats just rude.
Are you rolling a joint while doing homework?
No, I am rolling a joint with my homework.
Randomize
