you alive?
ya, the episode of maury where people are afraid of things are on, i had to keep livin
In the airport and just saw a little boy put his head in his mother's crotch... I guess he took a whiff because he backed up and said loudly, "mommy your pee-pee is stinky!"
I wrote and sealed my mom's mothers day card last night while intoxicated.. should i put it in the maibox
without a question
If I could have all the money back from the pregnancy test i've bought- I could buy myself a vacation.
Or a large amount of condoms?!?
Just spent the last three hours in the library successfully refreshing facebook
Come outside. The vendor wants to go out strong tonight! Russian hooker interviews. Don't ask. We leave in 3 minutes.
She came over and gave me a handy and then just lingered for a day and a half. Worst weekend ever.
College freshman give noticeably better blowjobs by the 5th week of the semester.
I'm so hungover all I can do is stare at my curser and hope it starts moving on its own
I don't think she considers it a date unless she publicly urinates
He danced with some other girls and you started yelling "I can't believe I wasted half my Chili's gift card on you" at him
But no. So do not give him one damn penny. Unless they are in a sock and you are hitting him with it.
I thought one was bad but really there are two woman stupid enough to marry our brother...unreal
Accent: check. Hot body: check. 8" dick: check. Feeds me biscuits in bed after rampant sex: check. Should I continue with my "Why I'm not coming back to the States" List?
I just bought two 8 Balls of Coke from the chick nurse that stitched my leg together in the ER after my bike accident last summer.
Randomize
