if you like me you must not know who I am
Too bad my picture didn't come thru. It was one of me naked riding a unicorn with a wizard hat and a magic staff. And the unicorn had wings. And me too.
thank you for introducing me to everyone on chat roulette as I was passed out.
Look on the bright side, you can mark 'beastiality' off your bucket list
she said she was gay. i said prove it. she said "ok i wont fuck you"
all he has to do is look at me on new years and hes getting laid. thats how hot he is
Hannah wants to know if she cant borrow your stats notes because she threw up on hers.
She is banging on the liquor store door begging them to let her come in.
The last thing I remember is your grandma calling me a pussy and taking my shot for me. Your family is awesome.
Your subconscious sucks. Mine is awesome. I have a recurring dream where I manage a chocolate factory run by big titted hookers.
A) you're a liar. B) that would be awesome.
My bra is still on the porch...I'm leaving it as a reminder to get my shit together.
I let a blind guy feel me up. All he kept saying was "oh fuck yeah!"
You were literally hanging out the window and dancing to the remix to Ignition when we drove you home
I'm now having weird sexual fantasies about that riverdancing figure skater. So thanks for that.
my gyno just used the expression "dick around." too far?
Randomize
