I'm so turned on right now it's fucking stupid. I hate burger king commercials
My mom is giving me a "don't tape yourself during sex" talk. It's going to be a long car ride.
i just funneled a beer through a mask n snorkel.. can you check that off my bucket list..
Some kid in my class just puked in his backpack, zipped up the backpack, put the backpack on and walked out the door.
We decided to have a girls night of four lokos, three of us cried and the other puked
Worst bachelorette party. She got smashed and cried because she thinks she might have herpes from when she cheated on him. Not looking good for them.
Is your answer to that text seriously a right parenthesis
We can just keep having sex until one of us finds someone we actually like
It was darkish out, I was shit faced, and they should have marked the electric fence a little more clearly. The entire wedding reception saw me run full force into it
I gotta shower this stuff off me I'm starting to hear baby kittens in the toilet tank again..
I can't stop drooling did you spike my drink?
I'm sorry I told you to go fuck yourself after you said good morning to me when I was hungover.
I am the oldest one here and I STILL feel like I need an adult. help.
he was wearing a widestriped red gingham suit jacket with complete sincerity im not surprised she beat the shit out of him
I stared at his dick and then told him to get on his knees
Randomize
