I might be drunk enough to make out with you. You don't want to miss this unique opportunity.
so pretty much your parents know your seeing a girl on the side, let her come over and just dont say anything to your girlfriend?
His internet searches, listed chronologically: sex slave, volunteer sex slave, lava
he literally just asked me which v neck he should wear tomorrow.
the girls on my floor started fighting over who got to keep the random hoodies that boys forgot in my room after sex
The KFC double down is way too much for a drunk. He was just staring at it in awe.
Hold on, I gotta pump breast milk for the white russians.
She said our goal is to fuck in every bathroom at the reception which is at a country club. I will have the best wedding date ever! Were 4 for 4 in public.
Taco trucks are like ice cream trucks for drunk adults. They should have a mariachi tune they play super loud to bring people out of the bars for tacos.
I was less embarrassed asking him to torrent the teen mom's porn. I'm not gonna ask him to about season 4 of PLL.
I'm definitely not going to be able to fuck him high. I won't be able to not laugh at his man boobs
Don't be weirded out, but my bondage straps are made of my ex boyfriend's curtains
I wish there was a tumbleweed emoji. Because that would describe my vagina.
Woke up with a girls naked next to me I had her thong on somehow.
I have a lot of money, and no morals. shots on you when you get here.
Randomize
