I learned to sign I want to be on you today
Score
Deaf chicks here I come
Shit. Come in my room. Bring a trashcan and an icepack
Don't you hate it when all three people suddenly sober up in the middle of a threesome. Awwwwkward.
it's official, i've been high in 26 different states, and three different countries.
I have to take his virginity. It's what God put me on earth for. It's my life mission.
he spent an hour trying to convince us that Ted Nugent is Kid Rock from the future. by the end of it i was very close to believing him.
I'm just planning on experiencing Disney as adult style as it gets. Drinking bloody mary's at dawn and telling all the kids waiting in lines how badly their future sucks and that Santa isn't real.
Word of advice, don't put your jar if peanut butter in the microwave, blue fire comes out
although steph and I had 3 bottles of wine by that point and watched an opera that featured a black dildo so anything was possible really
Woke up in a bathtub with both of my legs broken. How was your night?
What the World Series means to me is that I've slept with too many giants fans.
FYI the blow job was for papa johns pizza
I regret 8000% nothing
He must be a special kind of stupid to cheat on a women who works at a funeral home. Does he not understand you can get rid of dead bodies easier than most Americans?
If I ever write a memoir I'm thinking "Choosing to sit in a vat of shit" would fit
We stole a Christmas tree from the student center and then decorated it with everything we stole from parties... All I have to say is Feliz Navidad!
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