he's a bartender at a gay strip club. maybe he can work his magic. with getting u in, not gay magic.
All i remember before i blacked out is you pointing to a random chick and telling me to bang her for America.
I'm pre-party power houring. It's so catchy I couldn't not do it
I'm pretty sure they changed the plants at the grocery store because of us
how many people can say they bit their tattoo off?
A girl just asked me if we had pregnancy tests and a coworker had to stop me from telling her I was a pregnancy test. THAT is why I don't drink at work.
Two days later and my throat is still sore. That bong is a double edged sword.
just sex-dialed 911. that's 34 seconds of dignity i will never get back.
The problem with drugs is that there's none in this hotel
The problem with drugs is that showing my boobs only gets so much of them
It's seriously like a finger. But it's a cock. I don't know what to do. I feel like I fuck him to be polite.
remember when I lost my virginity and said I could see myself becoming a sex addict?? Well I'm pretty sure that time has come
I'm talking to a corgi on tinder..wtf has my life come to
I got conspiracy theory drunk.
But you''re still having sex with him. And a hobo convinced you to.
I'm wearing men's underwear
I don't know what to do with that information...
Randomize
