well if you came here i would keep you awake :*
did you just kiss me??? ... dude, im not gay
i'm eating jello out of a teacup with a fork. awesome?
he showed up at my house with a hand-stiched sweater that said "girlfriend?"
so i just calculated it and i would need to score 150% on this final to pass
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I was more concerned about the amount of mcdonalds fries on the floor around me than i was with my lack of clothes.
That's cause you yelled across the parking lot you wanted to eat her out
The couch is in the bathroom. I don't understand how that is even possible. I couldnt even fit that shelf thingy through the door. Come help. I am about to pee my pants.
He answered his phone while he was eating me out and proceeded to yell at his wife for interrupting lunch...impressed or rock bottom?
Now I know he's not trying to fuck me. He took me to lunch at White Castle.
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I was just sitting on the ground alone in fetal position shivering and chewing on my hand when she found me. ecstasy was not my best idea.
There is blood on my sheets, we apparently used 8 towels, everything in my shower is knocked down. Wut?
Also just throwing this out there I don't think anyone who brings another girl back to your bed to share with you can qualify as a frigid bitch
She just called at a dance party, and you stopped mid puke to join. Another successful night.
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
We can have bacon on the roof while tanning
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