He is an equal opportunity slut.
My pussy is not your playground.
I was arrested last night for attempting to flee and elude. I wasn't really trying to run from the police. I was drunk and lost in the woods. I thought it was pretty obvious when I was waving at them from my puddle of puke that I wasn't really hiding.
My life has literally become a dickpocolypse. Thank you, summer, I missed you.
Apparently my gaydar only works on americans. Frenchie capris has two topless chicks in our kitchen making him breakfast.
FYI the landlord called and plumbers will be tearing up the bathroom tomorrow. Apparently the tub is leaking into the apt below us so be sure to pee in the shower today.
So im on with some ukrainian stripper for a vodka tasting tomorrow. If I die tell my family im awesome
Still had my bottle opener ring on. Started to give him a hand job. LOL
I threw up on my way to work while listening to "the good times are killing me". this award goes to modest mouse for creating the most poetic puke ever
I'd rather be sodomized with a fullly decorated Christmas tree.
Just bought a colored water bottle so my classmates can be so judgemental when I bring beer to class.
Haha we both slept with guys named Brad born on may 1st. This is a proud day for sisters.
I have a video on my phone of someone streaking in my house last night, do you have any idea who it is?
How much of a thot would I be if I put this pic up? On a scale of thot-ish to Queen of Thotlandia
random boy in my bed. last night wasnt a dream. fuck.
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