No. I broke it. Note to self, never take a shower with your phone in your pocket.
I'm driving to work with an ice pack on my vagina. how was your weekend?
I don't know if this beer pong partnership can last if you refuse to look me in the eye when we make sweet sweet clutch cup at the same time.
Were betting on little kids falling and racing for a drinking game at the wedding.
party gras won. party gras always wins.
Learned my lesson. Pink pantydroppers out of a beer bong=deceiving
I take pleasure in knowing how many gallons of booze we've put away in comradery.
I think we should measure in "bathtubs"
I have to answer enough questions about you, I don't need your uterus tossed in the conversation.
There is a 1000000% chance you'll be turned down if you try coming on to me while I watch Star Wars.
You asked the waitress what the corking fee would be on the Joose you smuggled into the restaurant.
I'm pretty sure there a million tiny ninjas in my uterus poking me with sticks.
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
The bathroom smells like ribs. What did you do?
I've never wanted anyone to have herpes as I much as I want him to right now.
Your Vodka Saturday privileges have been reduced to Beer until you go a full month without losing an article of clothing.
Randomize
