Jesus knows you're telling a lie.
Jesus stopped reading my text messages when I started drunk texting boys to hookup
I'm trying real hard to keep it on the DL how drunk I am at lunch with my grandma.
he showed me his boner with his cell phone light during the movie.
I had a party to get rid of booze. Woke up with even more. Will do this till I can open a liquor store
You know you had good weekend wheb we you hook up with three different girls and you don't feel no pain when u pee in the morning
Adams eating in the shower, he says it's one of his favorite places to eat. Btw it's milanos he's eating, he says he loves italy too.
I briefly wondered why they weren't in school, but after the tinier one shouted "check out dem titties!" I had my answer
the last thing i remember is ordering pitchers of white russians....
all i remember is being at the diner with her at 3am and her storming into the kitchen to make sure the chef gave me regular fries instead of home fries.
He asked if I smoke and I said "only fools like you on the basketball court!" Then I started crying. I think I'm about to have my period.
Do me a favor? If you get with him, please lick his abs. Someone has too they're just too beautiful not to.
I feel strange, like something is off with my body
Yeah that's called sobering up, we've been drunk for the past 4 days
Fuck it, if you can't drink cheep beer and whiskey with me, I don't want you.
It's 7:30pm and we've already lost someone and had to run from the cops. What the fuck did you put in the punch?
I'm glad I didn't see Grandma stumbling drunk and peeing herself...it would be like seeing my future.
Randomize
