On friday while at the hotel bar by myself (creepy) I made friends w/ a millionaire who said he may be running for the position of mayor in richmond va (likely a lie). At one point during our discourse he asked if I was crazy. In the effort of full disclosure I looked him in the eye and said yes
I don't know what prompted his inquiry, clearly this man had impeccable intuition
he likes ron paul.... that's all i'm going to say....
so apparently dipping a tampon in red gatorade and throwing it out the window on the highway is a $100 fine
To justify your stumbling you just kept yelling 'it's the boat, not the drinks' We hadn't even left the dock yet....
Nope we're in the ER. He lit himself on fire trying to impress another girl with magic tricks.
I'm pretty sure we got the cab driver deported
I just feel like a girl who's never eaten a pb&j probably doesn't swallow
I would lick a homeless mans crack teeth for a cup of coffee right now.
Douche bag was crowd surfing, sack punched him. Crowd carried him away in a ball of agony. LIFE=COMPLETE.
I'm putting you on my Emergency card so i can spend the last ounce of strength in my hospital bed to flip you off.
I beer bonged before it even hit 4 o' clock. Please get on my level homecoming style.
I think she tried to suffocate me with her tits...she almost succeeded.
I need to start journaling my drunk thoughts. Drunk me is fucking brilliant & sober me is missing out.
So I love answering sex questions in intimate relationships class on a clicker when im sitting next to my cousin..
yeah, last night we handcuffed you and you started crying saying that you weren't a bad person
Randomize
