Yo I'm just eating dinner now. U ready to go out?
Ya ya. Where you eating?
Cereal and beer. U kno u want in.
I called the bartender Mr. Intoxication last night. He thought it was funny until i threw up and blamed it on him
You are just a treasure cave of fabulous alcoholic ideas.
Tell me you remember me getting a tampon from the girl throwing up in the next stall
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good news: I made it out of bed and into shower. Bad news: I made it back to bed without clothes. Worse news: I don't know this bed.
Have you ever had one of those moments when you kept whispering to yourself "I'm not a slut, I'm not a slut..."?
You force fed me pizza in bed last night. That was fun
Good morning! Just thought I'd give you my yearly reminder that we lost our virginities 7 years ago, yesterday.
That's the best creepy text ever.
There is a chick at the bar in a bumble bee onesie, complete with wings. Yeah, I must be back in Seattle.
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do you want to shower with me?
only if we can drink the jungle juice while we shower
Either sorry for fondling you Saturday or thank you for letting me fondle you Saturday.
You ninja crawled over five sleeping guys to get in my room at 6 in the morning to wake me up for sex
...and I think that may just be my favorite moment in our fuckbuddyship
So when I walked out, everyone was chanting ONE OF US, someone draped a lei over my head, and then she grabbed my ass and dragged me back into the bedroom. I'd say it was a pretty good night to lose my virginity.
I just didn't expect to have anal in a retail store at 9 AM on a Tuesday.
you're telling me you don't want to have sex 30,000 feet above the earth?
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