He had personality for days, but cock for only minutes
watching E! true Hollywood story: curse of the lottery.. i'd probably spend all my money on blow and airplanes too..
i just sold a bong and some oregano to fifth graders for sixty dollars. doing something tonight?
Woke up on the floor with my glow stick in one hand & dollar bills in the other. Good. Morning.
Just called my mom. She definitely saw all those fb statuses so thanks for that.
Haha did she know what fisting meant?
Yeah. Which is upsetting in itself
They can't keep moving my court date back, i dont know if I'll survive another one of these going away to jail parties.
Yes. Yes. Double yes. I'll bring the tits. You bring the frosting.
Well I blew a guy I barely know in full view of a homeless camp. That's pretty tame for me.
I'm calling in my "fuck at anytime anywhere" card. Meet me at my place in 20 min, wear your Waldo costume.
I feel like weed makes my smarter. I'm watching the stocks and the way I understand if, do not invest in Yahoo right now because they are not fit for that.
I'm chatting on my fake OkCupid account and watching Lion Witch & Wardrobe on my second screen. Hail me, King of the Creepers
Is it counter productive to ride on my exercise bike with a cocktail in hand?
Night one million where I have madri gra beads around my neck and no justifiable reason for where they came from
The first thing you did was give us a tour of the house and showed us who was "on-limits" and "off-limits"
B. I found a note on my phone and all it says is 'Fuck yeah im a racecar'
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