i just pooped in tubberware. not a proud day
community service is like the breakfast club... except we're all the criminal.
stop calling my apartment porn island.
Shit. Come in my room. Bring a trashcan and an icepack
did you know that snuggie is the perfect anti-freak out aid for stoners? it weighs you down so you can't go anywhere. just sit there and enjoy the movie, that's right.
i may have reached my "but im high so it's cool" quota for the month.
Why is there not a 'day after acid' genre. Or even a pandora station or something.
It's all sex hats and vagina bandages with you isn't it?
You kept saying,"there's a seahorse in my stomach, who's trying escape". This was after the curtains attacked you.
Ugh I can't even look at alcohol this weekend, my body needs to heal.
Volunteering at a homeless shelter a bum asked if he could lick me cause I still reeked of whiskey. Being a bumsickle=epic hangover
When he swipes my v card it will be comparable to my bat mitzvah. should I make sweatshirts or sweatpants?
17. The number of times my one night stand told me he loved me.
I'm sitting at my kitchen table alone dressed as a dinosaur smoking bowls in the dark. Is this rock bottom? Or is this living the dream? Who's to say
Date with Air Force guy was nice btw. And for my next trick I'll talk him into fucking me in his fighter jet at 30,000 ft.
Randomize
