Is it wierd that I kind of wish I could hang out with Melissa Joan Hart?
It's not my fault I help girls realize they're lesbians.
The fire breather is here so I may get my second wind.
The bad decision stars are too close to aligning to risk this tonight.
Thats like me asking what you think of antisocial polish guys with mysterious rashes
I just think that if you're going to run around naked outside, a feather boa should be involved. Half for the flair and half for an emergency cover.
Why is it that every study session with you turns into a hunt for drugs?
I don't know what weirder, the fact that I flat out said "I thought I deleted you from facebook" or that she responded with "I just hacked your account and readded myself". Never thought I'd say this but I wish drunk me would stop making friends!
I've got the dick your vagina needs, but not the one it deserves right now.
Defrosting my uncrustable with my laptop...Hungover dinner
I am an advanced cybernetic robot sent back in time to 2013 to fuck my wife senseless for hours on end. Have you seen this wife?
Eddy, if you don't want to roll play then say so. This is just obnoxious
this new dose of ADD meds is totally being waisted with the unemployed new graduate thing if only I could add my hyper focused side effects to a coverletter
It's shark week go big or go home
EX BOYFRIEND'S TWINS WERE BORN TODAY. THIS CALLS FOR A MARG.
Ain't no cockblock like hearing the word"HOOODOOORR!" shouted from the bedroom floor while in the middle of sex.
Randomize
