Stoned ambition #8. Must learn sign language.
It's like playing clue with my own life. I have to piece together what I did, where I was, how I did it, and who I did it to
that's not even the weird part though. he already knew where the bathroom was, he might have been here before..
is it sad that i can honestly say it was the best birthday sex i've ever had and it was still terrible?
I'm pricing out a roll of that wax butcher paper. We fuck too messy and I can't afford to wash them every afternoon.
Question: If I got in a car accident and lost my memory of us, would you work your way back just so we could be fuck buddies again?
I'm watching The Vow and just need to know that I'm loved in some way
i meant to type that i went to that party for shits and giggles, but my phone corrected me and said for shots and goggles...either one works
my cockatiel has aquired a taste for beer. I should not be allowed to own exotic pets.
I bet Billy Ray Cyrus wishes he had pulled out now....
I asked her how many times she came and she said "Oh god I can't count that high, Rutgers doesn't teach us that."
AMERICA LOVES YOU. RIDE THAT DICK LIKE PAUL REVERE RODE HIS HORSE SO MANY YEARS AGO
Who gets call-your-ex-from-4-years-ago drunk on a Thursday??
I just went to cvs and bought condoms, handcuffs and a coloring book
He in a way got kinda cockblocked by Jesus
He made me cum 3 times, then immediately after sex packed a bowl and passed it to me. Yeah.. I'll keep him.
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