As my groomsman, I expect you to learn the Thriller dance with me before next September.
i took an adderall last night to write a paper. i ended up watching 7 hours of roseanne and couldn't look away
So gin and wine won't be happening again
Oh, and thanks to you. I'm now stuck in the living room, held hostage, listening to my roommate's "How I discovered I was bi" story. FUCK YOU.
"lets watch the sunrise" turned into "lets have sex on the roof at six thirty in the morning"
Until this weekend, a man hadn't made me orgasm since the night Obama was elected. Now THAT is change I can believe in.
if i ever get hit by a car or something and become paralyzed promise me youll still be here to hand feed me shots and light my bowls please
We got the DJ into it too! "If there are any dudes into other dudes out there, my man mark is looking to get pounded. Buy him a drink stat!"
I greatly enjoy being related to her. Even if is it only by a penis.
Bringing families together since 1987
I'm in my bed. Snow angles in fresh sheets. don't even try to get me out tonight.
Went to 7-11 to buy condoms with the $20 I found on the ground outside Rite Aid. A good day for drug stores
I can't believe that after 9 years of signing things as "BATMAN", the first place to turn it down was the liquor store down the block.
Fuck you, i'm all jacked up on bananas lets go somewhere
this kid sitting diagonally in front of me is searching "cheap bongs" on google. hahahhaaha. who does this kid think he is?
I could hear it slapping against his thighs under the robe!!!!!!!!! You are a lucky girl!
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