Is it possible to be promiscuous but in a classy way?
last night some bitch put bruce along with his entire fishbowl in her purse and tried to leave. how drunk do you have to be to steal someone's pet??
i literally laid in bad for an hour last night thinking of what i'm going to name my cats when i become a cat lady.
Well I woke up with spatula marks on my ass and burns on my hands.
Or I could just give you a blow job and make it up to you.
No, that's okay. Don't worry about it.
Going once.....twice.........sold to the girl who didn't really wanna do it anyway.
IT'S LIKE SHE TAKES SECRET KUNG FU CUNT LESSONS AND THEN BRUCE LEES ALL OVER EVERYONE.
I think I just danced on the bar. With a man named Alabama.
Thank you for turning 21. I'm going to love reading your texts.
i want to have awesome sex and feel fuzzy.
Oh my god. I slept with my boyfriend last night. It was wonderful.
And when I say my boyfriend I mean my electric blanket. Because that's the kind of life I lead.
There's a kid in the back of the class drinking out of a flask. Like what is going on?
NOW HE'S DRINKING OUT OF A HANDLE. WHO IS THIS KID?
He painted a swimsuit on me. Naked day at the lake was a success.
It may be a clusterfuck, but I'll be looking classy as shit as I watch the nightmare unfold
Im legit just salty with everyone who has a penis right now
Last night was great... In the "I got videotaped making out and getting a handjob on the couch in front of 100 people." kinda way.
Last night I recall my hair going up in flames. This is evident by the burnt hair smell that is following me around this morning
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