Is it morally objectionable to repay my debt to society with drug money?
dressing as green man for st patrick's day = free drinks all night long
Apparently having him hold an open book in front of me while i'm blowing him doesn't count as studying...
I will miss his soup and his dick the most
good it was pretty cute, also what would bong water do to a puppy?
im that hungover where parking at red lights has to be done
Intramural soccer game tonight. Be ready for blood. I haven't sobered up since thursday
You kept asking her which dick pills worked the best. She's a grandmother.
We're so stoned that were both cuddling on the couch and crying over Forest Gump while eating popcorn. She asked me if I'd fuck away the sadness. I think she's serious.
it's ok my mom asked me why i had a guys shirt on and also why there was chocolate all over my bra
There's a kid in the back of the class drinking out of a flask. Like what is going on?
NOW HE'S DRINKING OUT OF A HANDLE. WHO IS THIS KID?
I just drank beer out of an old Vicodin bottle hoping to catch some residue. That's how finals week is going
Apparently, im the only one in the world who thinks Larry King is hot.
there must be tiny pirates in the freezer stealing our rum.
I don't think getting eaten out in a smart car behind a circle-k on my break by a guy I just met classifies as social distancing, but I'm beginning to love night shift more and more.
Randomize
