Why is my head in the toilet this morning but there is vomit behind the toilet
3 st and 6 ave. One dollar pitchers. Look out world.
I heard you threw up in your lap?
I heard that too.
I wonder how many times I can be hungover in one day
I just found a bagel and a condom in my coat pocket. I love blackouts
You kept running into the wall most of the night. When people asked you what you were doing you told them you were the kool-aid man and there was little kids on the other side of the wall who needed your juice
aparently i pased my english final. I don't even remember taking it.
alcohol. turning childhood friends into awkward hookups since the dawn of civilization.
Just put my hand under my pillow and found a peach ring. Lat night just came rushing back.
We convinced you to take a shot out of the sponge...there were still suds in it.
somebody put my brain in a crown royal bag and beat the shit out of it
Yeah. It's a great diet plan tho. Just have sex every time you get hungry.
Remember, ur body isn't a visitors center
Guy just walked in with a 40 and a Honda steering wheel. Where the fuck am I?
I just put on the jeans I was wearing last night and pulled 4 baby carrots out of my back pocket....
Randomize
