I'm bringing poparts in case anyone gets hungry. The trek to frat row is strenuous.
when i woke up this morning i blew my nose and ash came out.. i'm not sure what to make of this.
I haven't been "cry when you eat ben and jerrys" high in a while.
i was surprised by the severity of his small dick condition
I meant to tell you earlier: bad life decision saturday has been moved wednesday this week
He tried to bang a 300 pounder last night. No joke. I shotgunned a tall boy in a bar cuz the bartender didn't crack the beer. Cant wait till Nashville.
Dude, someone broke the toilet seat in two, the is a pair of panties on the kitchen counter, and the entire house smells like a brewery
Good point, clearly my love of penis contributed to my torn knee ligament.
I swear to God, if you drunkenly correct my grammar one more time, I'm cutting you off.
Wednesday is my day of reflection and making my dick and balls into shapes. So i'll be pretty busy.
Winning the lottery was the best thing that ever happened to my penis.
Greatest pickup line ever: "We are out celebrating winning the lottery."
You were typing for me while I was hyperventilating into a paper bag on the floor.
I would just like to point out that a bandaid led to sex. The lesson here is always have a bandaid in your wallet.
It's really hard to tweet with a pussy in your face demanding attention.
This is a hangover from hell. Delivered by the devil himself.
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