My boss just gave me full permission to come into work wasted this weekend.
i wish there was a photo editing effect that fully opened my drunk eyes
Am I the only one creeped out by the guy asleep behind our couch?
The lego bong didn't work. Just made us look stupid
Oh my God, I want him to live with his face in my vagina forever.
i broight you flpweers amd vodka. open yoir bask door
It's not really that big. Girls just think it feels big. It's a cocktical illusion.
Use "feeling words"
Yay
Omg you can't vacuum salsa that's just ridiculous
It's accurate though. I am legitimately passionate about pickles. I crave pickles the same way I crave sex. It is a deep rooted animalistic need
I think it's important to not involve Bar Food in any near future decisions.
Roomies told me I showed up to my house alone with no pants on and burrs in my hair... I live in the middle of the city
I peed outside 4 times after the bar, safe to say I had great night
I don't really care where everyone ended up, but is everyone alive and not in jail?
Not in jail
Alive?
So I forgot to ask, how was that bartender you slept with two weeks ago?
Google chlamydia.
Randomize
