R and i have drinken 4 bottles od red wine. By ourselfs
I just saw my grandmother naked. again. this needs to stop now.
Omg. It looks like a crack pipe exploded in your mouth.
I meant to tell you earlier: bad life decision saturday has been moved wednesday this week
if that blanket by the dog bowl was your dog's "bed" then i apologize to bailey for having sex on it
Your tequila is gone. I suggest you bring more home before you go out for dinner. Money is taped to mailbox.
i turned my shower on this morning and passionfruit pulp came out. how did you even do that?
I'm sorry I compared your vagina to nascar
I wish I was a power ranger. Also the universe is immense. Like it never ends. Never.
Why does every bad decision I make wind up having 1000 likes on YouTube?
I yelled out look at all those hickeys. And then gave her boyfriend a high five
She tackled him mid-puke while the other two were cutting up a $60 dildo with a kitchen knife and putting the pieces in a Corona bottle.
After we finished having phone sex he proceeded to serenade me with Ave Maria. It was magical.
his mom fetish really needs to stop. this is literally the 5th time i've come home from work and there's been some random skank and her kids in the living room.
did one of the kids use their poo like a crayon on the wall this time?
I love you. You know I enjoy the constant sex noises
Randomize
