Have you not heard of Jennifer's supreme lust for William Shatner? She wants to eat Taco Bell off of his love handles
You sucked the drug dealers dick for a 20 of coke...?
Nooo, I payed for that. I sucked his dick because I had an urge.
I can't wait for round whatever # we're on tonight.
I dont feel as bad coming home this baked because I gave my 14 year old sister a no drugs talk last night.
Drinking down Plan B with a 5 hour energy. Winding down welcome week in style.
I paid your cover too so you're on the list as tits mcgee. You're welcome :D
Hurry up. Some creepy guy with a "God is vengeful" flyer is asking where I wanna go most today. I think he's going to chop me into pieces.
You chest bumped everyone we walked by on the way home... Even girls
Maybe not Elvis quality pharmaceuticals...But some good stuff
Mischief managed.
YOU ARE NOT A MARAUDER, WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO NOW?
i'm drinking soco out of a mickey mouse cup right now. i love it when college and my childhood meet in the middle.
For future reference, when he drunkenly screams "YOUR MOTHER SUCKS COCKS IN HELL," he means that he's about to throw up. Invest in a bucket.
Just cuz I'm recovering alcoholic does NOT make me the taxi for you every weekend
5 am booty call not ok. The fact I actually went over definitely not ok. My vag needs to learn some control.
"keg stand!" on a roof abruptly turned into "call the medics"
Randomize
