I have no voice and feel like lukewarm beer.
Im already sauced. Have been for hours. Its kinda my thing.
I know it may not be fiscally responsible to pregame fifty cent night, but I'm gonna go ahead and do it anyway.
someday when you wake up in a dumpster we'll have to have this conversation again...
I want to break up with him.....but he has a george forman grill...like I need that
Ummm Im the uneducated alcoholic of the group... if I say its a bad idea, its probably a bad idea.
You couldn't find your shoe so you introduced yourself as Cinderella for the rest of the night.
Ahh that explains the text from creepy mike saying he would be my prince charming.
Your boobs are like a big quesadilla marker
Our relationship is representative of a cognitive bias that leads to bad decision making and misplacement of resources. So should we pick up some whiskey tomorrow?
Now: to brush my teeth, put on my grandma slippers and earplugs, masturbate to 50 Shades and then PTFO
Im including "no monologues past 1am" in the list of apartment rules. Theatre majors dude.
You threw up at the outdoor bar and it was pretty...astonishing just how much can come out of such a small human.
When i said you could use my car and have sex in the back....i wasn't being serious.
What? No, wine isn't my weakness, I just love it.
you poured beer in your mouth so you could be a beer pong cup for her to drink out of/make out with
Did it work?
Randomize
