TAKE DOWN THAT PHOTO OF ME IN THE NURSES COSTUME NOW.
No dude, you can't hot box a bus shelter.
just convinced someone I was a virgin. I love when people don't know me.
I sent him a naked picture of me with the caption "I lost at beer pong, this was a dare. Hope your nights going as good as mine" I've never talked to him in my life, this is a strange way to start.
im actually trying to see how many sex dolls we need for our raft so we can stay buoyant while we attack kayakers
You have ruined sex with him for me. Now all I think is "boy scout" and I want to go home
We found Mulan.
I thought you were in bed what the hell
& I just realized there is no vomit smiley. There needs to be a vomit smiley
I won't let penises inside me if you won't let tequila inside you, deal?
So I just realized I have three bananas, seven condoms, three lube packets, three tampons, and a shot glass in my bag but no pen #modelstudent
You just accidentally called me. You kept saying "Really?! Really?!!" So I can only assume you are having sub par sex
While we were doing it he looked up at me and said "Does your husband fuck you this good?" Talk about a mood killer....
She gave me a collar. When I asked what this was for she replied "I'm taming your dick"
I texted her that I burned my tongue drinking coffee so it hurt to talk or kiss... How many points do I get for doing her without talking or making out first?
I'm not drunk or hungover and I don't have to work. My body is sooo confused!
Randomize
