We drank from noon till 5 am, there was adderall and nice jews involved it was just crazy
I feel like your standards for women is like rent-a-centers standards for credit.
When i light up a cigarette people look at of like i'm going to pee on their children.
Do you think most people who work at an airport Chili's can pin point where their lives went wrong?
I don't think I have ever been told that I am "probably too drunk to pet the stingrays" by a cop before.
Yeah but the gay hasidics turned out to actually just be real gay hasidics
its ok, the prom king gave me his crown to puke in
That's what every 12 year old basketball team needs; a drunk and hungover lady eating KD whilst cheering them on. Highlight of their lives.
Sometimes I think about the fact that I lost my virginity while watching anime and I wonder what that says about me
like stop just cause your whole life has been one enormous reject pile does not mean that i have to suffer too
She is dumping me if she doesn't get a ring by Valentines. So one more month of free sex and it will be back to the right hand.
He made me cum via FaceTime, then he made me look at his stock investment charts..
I'm bathroom at buffalo wild wings
I think incapable of making pants work send help
I was sprawled on his bed and heard him and a girl walk in the apartment. I jumped out the window and am walking down main street wrapped in an american flag blanket. Can you pick me up?
Don't get yourself off tomorrow. We. Are. Having. Sex. That's that. Just dont do it.
Randomize
