well. it's seven AM and i'm too high to hula hoop.
Is it weird that I want your dad to go down on me?
Soo time for a life change, my 6 yr old sister made my gf a puke bucket for her birthday
You have all of her herpes and none of my sympathy
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hey girl, do you remember you made me brush your hair with a plastic fork on Saturday night?
There is booty call etiquette, and he just isn't following it. I'm not making you breakfast, gtfo.
When you wake up so hungover that you don't even wanna cough for fear of vomiting... It's not gunna be a good day.
The bad news is that I stole all your drugs. The good news is that ITS KICKING IN!
Adulthood is making your own puke bucket.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
fuck emotions I should've gotten more cats
Thank you for holding my butt in a non-sexual manner when its cold. I appreciate you and your warm hands.
Side Note: Everyone in my office is getting engaged and having baby showers. And I'm all like, fuck your joy, I just want more string cheese in my life.
Shit is getting real. I just adjusted my search radius for my dating profile to ANY FUCKING WHERE
Also, next time I go get a wax, I'm gonna ask the girl about the innie to outie ratio she sees on the daily.
There's a possibility I may have hooked up with that British guy...
Possibility? You left the door open! Everyone saw!
Randomize