She punched me in the face after i pulled it out and grabbed my cell phone. Ill be the one hiding in the bushes with one shoe.
i kno its fucked up..but id rather sleep it off than seek medical attention right now
maybe all of them together would equal one normal sized dick.
she took out her dip, threw up, and put it back in. it was like a scene from Nick and Nora's trip to the trailer park.
they ran out of ice so they are using frozen shrimp in their drinks
He said he wants to make an itinerary for the sex we'll have when I come home.
I have fiberglass splinters all over my hands and woke up with a sign that says PUMPKINS in my room.
our flight took off 8 am and the bar didn't close til 5, so we decided it was a good idea to just stay out all night. Drunk logic is awesome. We were all scared we wouldn't get let onto the plane
I'll call it a tollerance break and either will be celebrating my new job with a bowl or will be smoking my sadness away from not getting the job. Either way.
Though I do have to question why i found you and my brother passed out on his bedroom floor, no clothing between you except his tie wrapped around your dick
you made me suck your tit in the car and kept saying "good boy. I love you so much. good boy."
So you'd go straight for a fat chick with cheese on her tits?
Yes.
Last night he told me I was never sexier than when I was cutting pizza. Seriously. Like, he's perfect.
Sorry about you walking in on the whole nude kinect dancing. The new roomie was drunk and naked and told us he was either over dressed or we were under dressed for the party. And Amy figured it would be easier to join him than it would be to dress him
The highlight of my week is I found some hetero porn I didn't completely hate. Branching out.
Randomize
