it cannot be done, he is unbreakable.
What?
..he cannot be seduced..she had to have roofied him.
Details.
I've been deciding between brands of bagels for 20 minutes. This why I doint smoke weed.
i think the whole apartment complex could hear you beating off last night
just upper decked a verizon store cause they don't cover against "getting phone crushed by a keg." had to pay 175 for a new one
Things found in my vomit last night: cell phone, Von Hayes rookie card, a boot, my dignity
It got to the point that I had to make flashcards with their name on the front and dick pics on the back.
I just ditched my friends to hang out with the chilis restaurant crew...one of these girls better have daddy issues
It's official. Hawaii is 100% better when you're stoned.
Ohhhh sweet! I may be down for that. I'll be a german beer girl probably passed out on a park bench somewhere.
HOW DO YOU GET TO BE A GROWN-UP AND NOT KNOW WHAT A DECADE IS!?
the second she challenged me to mario kart drinking game i knew i was in love
I was walking back to the dorm and was made fun of for wearing a coat. I'M SORRY I CARE ABOUT MY WELL BEING.
I'll get tired halfway through and end up passed out at a taco shack honestly
Fell off the toilet trying to reach to put my tampon in the garbage. Pride hurts real bad.
She's walking down the sidewalk with a notebook, a pencil, and a box of cheez its while yelling profanities at small animals.... I'm going 2 ask her where she was before this.
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